La Tristessa Durera
by Miss Anne Thropy
Summary: Jono's accident has put him in a coma, leaving Remy to deal with the possibilities and all that it implies while trying to reach his lover. Sequel to Auf Achse. La Tristessa Durera-The sadness lasts.


La Tristessa Durera

"_It's easy to breathe, it's easy to grieve  
To breathe only air where life should be  
It's easy to laugh, it's easy to cry  
To cry so so hard that it can't be denied"-Manic Street Preachers_

He sat on his bed, his back against the headboard, his eyes closed. His hands were clutching one of Jono's shirts in a death-grip that had only fractionally relaxed in his sleep. Occasionally, his brows would knit together above his nose and his mouth would harden and tighten into a straight line. He would shift in his uneasy sleep, but the expression never seemed to leave his face.

"How is he doing?" Hank asked Logan, who was sitting in a chair dragged to the sleeper's room for that purpose.

"Been sleepin'." Logan growled at the doctor as he stopped and peeked into the room.

"Like that?" Hank asked as he came in quietly, stopping a foot away from the bed when Remy's eyelids began to twitch.

"Don' wanna wake him." Logan told him shortly, reminding Hank of the scene in the med-lab several days before. Hank sighed and backed away from the bed. He certainly didn't want a repeat of that again.

"How's the kid doin' anyways?"

"Better. His vital signs are stable and the scans show no brain damage. He's extremely lucky, even though he may not think so when he finally regains consciousness."

Logan snorted.

"Well, would you?"

Hank stared at Logan for a long time before replying.

"I suppose not. But then, I would be thankful for being alive."

"Sometimes that's a very small comfort."

"I know."

"How's Remy doing?" Bobby asked Hank as the blue doctor stepped back into the med-lab after checking up on Gambit.

"Sleeping. Logan's with him just in case anything happens." Hank replied carefully as he moved over to the sterile room where Jono lay.

Bobby frowned.

"How's the kid doing?" Bobby asked as he followed Hank into the injured man's room.

Hank walked over to the bed and looked down at the still form lying on the bed.

"Considering he fell from a four-story building, fairly well." Hank replied a tad caustically as he checked Jono's vitals.

Bobby had the decency to look ashamed at that point.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound so flippant about his condition." Bobby apologized a bit shamefacedly.

Hank didn't reply until he had finished checking up on the numerous lines going into Jono's body.

"It's a good thing Gambit wasn't here to hear that." Were the only words Hank said as he then moved to check on the bandages around Jono's head, wincing slightly as his hand brushed against the spiky, blunt ends of the hair he had had to carelessly hack off to put sutures in to close the wound.

"I know." Bobby replied as he looked down at Jono and winced at the assorted cuts and bruises that marred the chalky skin.

"Frankly speaking, I didn't expect him to _even_ pull through the surgeries. There was internal bleeding on top of the head injury, which may or may not affect his vision. We just have to play the waiting game with that. Although his spine was broken, the cord wasn't severed. But we won't know until the swelling goes down to see if there was more damage that wasn't apparent from the beginning. His ribs should heal fine, but he could have lasting damage to his legs and ankles. Those fractures weren't as clean as the ones in his arm. Overall, it's not pretty."

Bobby only nodded silently as he watched Hank fuss around the young man, checking the assorted tubes, bandages and casts on Jono, who lay with his eyes squeezed shut and his fingers curled up, only occasionally relaxing them when Hank's big paws brushed against exposed skin.

"His hands are moving." Bobby pointed out. Hank looked down.

"That's a good sign. It shows his coma isn't that deep and that his chances of recovery are fairly good." Hank replied, gently turning Jono's right hand over and running a nail down his palm to test his reflexes. Much to his surprise, Jono's hand curled up and then loosened completely once the stimulus had been taken away.

Bobby watched as Hank scribbled down some notes before going over to the door.

"You think so?" Bobby asked as he waited until Hank had caught up with him to exit the room.

"Oh yes. It shows he's aware on a deeper level. It also shows that his head injuries aren't as serious as I first feared. I just hope I can convince Remy of that."

Bobby nodded as he then fished out a twinkie from his pocket and handed it to his friend.

"Yeah. Well, what do you expect? Jono's the world to him. I don't think he'd get over it if Jono had died." Bobby pointed out as he gladly accepted the other twinkie Hank was offering.

"I know. They've helped each other come a long way from before." Hank noted as he gulped down his own twinkie.

"It never fails though. Once we have something going on, fate has to kick us in the teeth and take it all."

"It sure seems that way, doesn't it?" Hank mused as he sat down at his desk.

"We think we have found happiness and then something occurs to strip us of our illusions." Bobby sighed and jammed his hands in his pockets. He was about to comment on how fate this time had had a little help when the doors to Hank's office opened to reveal a determined looking Gambit and an expressionless Wolverine right behind him.

"Remy! Hey." Boby greeted him. Remy only tilted his head in Bobby's direction and nodded before turning towards were he sensed Hank was at.

"Good Afternoon Remy. How are you today?" Hank asked politely as he got up from his chair and walked over to the silent man.

"Could be better Henri." Remy replied politely.

"He's doing good, Remy. He's starting to respond to stimuli now. I'm confident he's going to wake soon, which in turn is a good sign for a full recovery. Would you like to see him now?" Hank asked, knowing full well that he wasn't going to be able to keep Remy away for much longer.

"Si vous plait, Henri." Remy replied, his voice so low that the doctor had trouble hearing it. Hank nodded and walked towards Jono's room.

Gambit followed him, glad to have the doctor's massive paw on his arm leading him on. Normally he would balk at getting help finding his way around, but in this case, he knew it was needed. Especially since he couldn't easily weave around the machines that were at this moment, regulating his lover's life. So even though it stung his pride, he let himself be led to the chair Hank had placed beside the bed for him earlier.

"Merci." He whispered once he had sat down and had found Jono's hand, which at first curled up as if in defense, but then relaxed enough for Remy to thread his fingers through it. Hank watched with relief as Jono's hand automatically tightened around Remy's own, which showed that Jono could possibly wake up even earlier than he had anticipated.

"I'll take my leave now, Remy. Call me if you need anything. I'll be in my office."

Remy nodded as he reached out and gently caressed Jono's face.

"Merci once again, mon ami. I'll keep that in mind." Remy replied in a distracted voice, making the doctor realize that he had already over-stayed. Shrugging, the doctor made his way to his office, leaving the door only slightly ajar in case a situation arose.

"Sorry if it was too soon. There was only so much I could do to keep Gumbo occupied." Logan told Hank, who waved a massive blue paw.

"No need to apologize, Logan. As long as Jono remains here, Remy won't be too far away. Besides, I'm sure that having Remy around is what Jono needs right now. Especially when he's fighting to come back."

Wolverine raised an eyebrow at the comment and moved forward to look into the room.

"Good. A man always needs somethin' to come back to." He muttered as he watched the careful, gentle way with which the Cajun caressed Jono.

"I agree."

Rogue stood in the corner of the kitchen, taking slow, deliberate sips of her tea as she stared out the window. Her eyes were focused on the trees by which she had seen them last week, but she was thinking of how Remy had looked when she had tried to reach out and talk to him. She had seen him that angry before, but she had never been on the receiving end of that anger.

She sighed and took another sip as she tried to push the thought that she had utterly and irrevocably turned Remy against her. Part of her knew that it was a done deed. There was simply no way that Remy would talk to her again. Especially not if Jono woke up and told him the truth: That she had had a chance to help him, but had chosen to watch as he fell due to her childish desire to have him hurt as much as he had hurt her.

She had tried to justify her actions to herself that first day after Jono had been brought back. Even though Remy's words had stung, she had tried to tell herself that they both had it coming. After all, not only had Jono humiliated her by healing Remy when she, his supposed love couldn't, he had also taken away Remy. And despite their relationship being colder than Antartica, Remy was hers. He had always been hers and that fact wasn't ever supposed to change. At least that was the way she had reasoned why she had let Jono fall to what should have been his death. She had been lucky in that no one had questioned her and all had agreed that it was simply bad timing and bad luck on Jono's part. And with Jono being incapacitated, there was no one else to speak against that established fact.

Everything seemed to be going well. And if she played her cards right, she was sure that she could have her Remy back again. Unless Jono regained consciousness and told the truth. Then it would be all over, since she knew that Remy would believe his word over hers and then he truly would be lost to her. Frowning, she turned away from the window and closed her eyes in an effort to think when the thought popped up in her mind.

_"He won't know if Jono never wakes up". _She bit her lip and tried to push the thought away quickly, but not quickly enough to not entertain the possibility of making sure that Jono never woke up. After all, it would be simple to go down to visit as a concerned teammate should. Just one touch, not even a real one would suffice to end him off. And then Remy would return to being hers and it would all be just like it was…

"Penny for your thoughts, Rogue?" she shook herself out of her thoughts to face Bobby, who was stirring his own mug of tea and looking at her quizzically.

"Ah, no why?" Rogue asked her teammate.

"You looked like you were pretty lost in your thoughts there. Anything you want to talk about?" he asked her as he threw his spoon in the sink, where it landed with a rattle against the metal.

Rogue winced at the sight and shook her head.

"Nothing. Jus' have a lot on mah mind, that's all." She replied a bit hastily as she plunked her mug down on the counter.

Bobby only raised an eyebrow and took a long swallow of his tea, making Rogue's twitchiness increase as he fixedly stared at her.

"Bobby? Coul' y' cut that out?"

"Cut what out?"

"Staring."

"Why? Is it illegal?"

"Ah…no. It's jus' buggin' me."

"Bobby, act your age for once." Scott ordered as he entered the kitchen and walked over to the coffee maker.

"Certainly, Mein Fuhrer." Bobby replied archly before giving Scott a sketchy salute and walking to the living room past Rogue.

Rogue watched him go with a sigh of relief. She was about to turn the opposite way when Bobby gave her a not so pleasant grin, leaving her wondering exactly **what** he was up to and whether he knew something regarding Jono's accident.

Although she was sure he didn't, she couldn't shake the feeling he did.

Shaking her head, she then went upstairs and picked up a romance novel from her bookshelf, hoping the tawdry romance would push everything that had occurred out of her mind. Or at least push it back so that she didn't have to deal with it at that point in time.

Remy ran his fingers through Jono's bangs, careful not to jostle any of the tubes Hank had told him about earlier. He knew if he kept clear of them, he could pretend that Jono was just sleeping and that he would come awake soon. Once in awhile though, his fingers would brush against the corrugated plastic and the illusion would be broken, leaving him searching for the gentle pulsing of the connection in the back of his mind. Knowing that it was still there, despite being faint, gave him enough comfort to tentatively begin thinking about the possibilities of life once Jono woke up or didn't.

His hand's clenched involuntarily when his mind lingered on the last thought. What exactly **would** he do if Jono didn't wake up? He didn't want to entertain the possibility, but he knew that he would have to. There was always the chance that it would happen.

"Cher." He whispered as he gently brushed the lukewarm flesh, hoping for some reaction, some sign that would lay the fears growing in his mind to rest. Apart from a weak curling up of Jono's hand, there was nothing.

Remy sighed and rested his hand on Jono's cheek. He knew he was pushing too much. After all, it had been five or so days that the accident had occurred and Hank had stated Jono was lucky to be alive after such a fall. But part of him wanted for Jono to be awake and be fine. Just like always, with his odd British slang and crazy stories and warm lips and soothing words when the demons got to be too much late at night.

He didn't want to admit it, but he was scared of losing Jono. Scared of being alone and adrift with nothing to hold onto. Scared of finally losing the only one person that he could actually trust to accept him despite everything he had ever done.

"Don' think like that. Have some fait, homme." He chided himself, not wanting to let the fears in his mind grow unchecked. Although he knew he was simply saying it to damn all of the emotions that were bubbling under the surface, it still eased the tension he felt. Besides, he knew that despite Jono being unconscious, due to their link he was probably feeding all those emotions right along. It wouldn't do for him to feel the doubt and insecurities if he was trying to come back to him.

Thinking it over, Remy nearly smacked himself for being so overly dramatic that he didn't think of feeding the link sooner. Of course he could reach Jono! Why hadn't it hit him earlier? Shaking his head, he then cleared his mind, strengthened the link and began to speak to Jono.

_"Please cher…I know you're resting right now. Hell, I don' know if you can really hear me, but I gotta try. Please…come back soon. I need you. Please cher."_ After he had spoken his short plea, Remy waited in case he had reached Jono. He waited for several minutes when he could feel Hank preparing to come in.

"Merde." Swearing softly, he pulled back the connection, not wanting anyone else to prove into it when he felt a strong jolt come right through it that made his mind blank out for a moment.

"Remy? Is something wrong?" Hank asked him, bringing him back from the temporal blankness Jono's reaction had caused.

"Non. Why?" Remy asked when he was finally able to gather his thoughts once again.

"You gasped a minute ago, as if you were taken by surprise." Hank told him, laying his hand on Remy's shoulder.

"I know. I got a reply from 'im, Henri. I never expected it…just took me by surprise." Remy answered softly, making Hank feel slightly guilty from keeping Gambit away from Jono, since he was probably the best person to be with him. He knew it must have hurt to have the suspected telepathic connection strained with the distance, but he didn't want to risk Gambit ruining his health for Jono's sake and leaving them both weakened. Especially not now that he had what he hoped were more good news for the Cajun.

"I'm glad." Hank told Remy warmly as he gave the younger man's shoulder a squeeze.

"Me too." Remy whispered as he squeezed Jono's hand and grinned when he received a strong squeeze back while Hank watched with quiet appreciation.

"Do y' need me to leave now Henri?" Remy asked the doctor when he hadn't picked up a specific reason from him to be there.

"Actually, Remy, I need to talk to you in my office."

"Abou' what?"

"I think I may have found something that will cure your blindness."

Jono found himself floating. At first, he thought it felt like the time when he had bunked off school in the third form and had hitched a ride to Brighton, were he had simply spent a day swimming about, floating in the light, lukewarm water and staring at the sky as the day drifted by. He should have thought it odd, being so at ease in his own inertia when the world was passing by at its usual speed. But he didn't. He just didn't think of it. It was nice were he was at and that was all that mattered.

At least it did until he found that he was actually floating face down in a murky sea and if he looked hard enough, he could see the grotesque, ghoulish parodies of everyone that he used to know: his mum, his da, his gram, Ange, Paige, Gayle. All of them looked like emaciated corpses with long talons and all were reaching out to him.

"_Come, Jono…come with us…you want to be with us…Join us…"_ they cried in a hideous chorus of distorted human voices.

Screaming, he began to thrash about in the water, his panic giving him enough strength to get out of the midnight blue grave and come up for air.

He tried to open his eyes, but it was still that darkness. Desperate, he tried to reach out and grasp something, anything to pull him out of the darkness. His hand waved about uselessly until it was caught in a firm grip.

"Shh…Cher…Shhh. It's allright. Please cher…try to calm down." A soothing, slightly accented voice that he remembered from his nightmares broke though his frightened mind, washing the fear away with what felt like a warm, cleansing bath. Reacting to the words, Jono stopped his struggling and lay quietly, his mind stilled by the warmth of the person that had held onto his hand and was now murmuring words that were extremely familiar as yet another person began to check him.

"…awake. This is good, Henri?" the soothing voice asked another person.

"Cetainly. Him coming awake after eight days is one of the best signs of recovery. Mr. Starsmore should be able…" Jono was about to stop listening to the rest of the conversation except that his last name came up and the soothing feelings had now turned sharp, making him notice the happy, yet tense emotions swirling about him.

Wanting answers, he lifted his head from the pillow and tried to swallow enough saliva to speak, only to be rewarded with the uncomfortable sensation of something hard and itchy down his throat.

"Jono? Cher, don' try to talk, y' got a tube to 'elp ye breathe. Hang on a sec cher." He heard a conversation being held in hushed tones before another set of hands cradled his face.

"Jono? It's Hank. I'm going to take out the breathing tube, okay? When I pull it out, I want you to cough as hard as you can. I'm just undoing the tape now. When I tell you to, cough, all right? Ready? One, two, three." Hank pulled out the tube quickly and Jono obeyed, coughing until his ribs felt as if they were about to split and he could taste bile in the back of his throat.

"Y' did bien cher." The soft whiskey voice soothed as long fingers wiped away the tears that had snuck down his cheeks unnoticed.

"Drink this." A straw was placed between his lips and he thankfully sucked down the water to soothe his sore and scratched throat.

"Wot…Wot happened? Where am I?" He rasped out before swallowing down more of the water that was being offered to him.

"You're in the medical laboratory." The same person that had offered him the water explained patiently.

"Acciden'? Wot? Why?" He asked, his mind swirling with confused images: a man in a black suit, flashing lights, the sounds of claws tearing through metal, the laughing green eyes of a woman as she watched him fall…

_"Cher, do y' remember anything from that day?" _He felt himself blinking at the words that had poured into his mind. He wasn't freaked out that badly, since he instinctively knew that it wasn't an abnormal occurrence to have someone directly speak to his mind. He also **knew** who it was that speaking to him. The words and the taste of cinnamon in his mind clicked in at once as to who it was that was holding his hand right now and had washed away the fear and desperation from his mind when he had first woken up.

_ "Rems, Luv? Wot's goin' on luv?" _He asked through the mental link they had established earlier.

_ "Y' went on a mission, cher. About a week ago and y' had an accident." _Jono tried to sit up at the news, but the pain wracking his body made him abandon the idea the moment he slightly raised his body from the bed.

_"That was a stupid idea. Ow."_ Jono commented ruefully as he lay back on the bed.

"How are you feeling, Jonothan?" Hank finally asked after patiently waiting for a break in the mental conversation.

"Not well, But I'll survive it, mate." Jono replied, laying back and taking stock of all the dull aches that seemed to be intent on letting him know of their existence. It seemed to be going well when he noticed two things that made him break out in a cold sweat. He couldn't see anything and he couldn't feel anything below his chest.

"That's good, Jono. You gave us quite a scare young man." Hank told him warmly.

"So 'ow long of a sentence do I have?" Jono asked, turning to face Hank.

There as a pause before Hank gave him an answer.

"I'm afraid you're going to be here for awhile, Jono. Your injuries are pretty serious and do require time to heal." Hank told him, trying to be as diplomatic as he could, since he knew he would have to tell Jono what hardships he would face later on.

"Wot are they?" Jono asked, wincing slightly when Rem's hand tightened around his.

"You fell from a four-story building, Jono. It's honestly a miracle how you survived. If that recycling bin hadn't been there, you would have been dead." Hank told him, making Jono's heart race faster.

"Cut to the chase, Hank. I already know things ain't adding up mate. Just tell me." Jono ordered, knowing that if Hank didn't say it, his bravado would simply drain away.

He heard Hank sigh.

"Your spine was broken in the fall and your head hit the edge of the bin, causing some brain damage."

Remy gasped at the news.

"Henri…Y' mean…"

"I'm not sure if it's permanent or not, I'm sorry Jono. We just have to wait and see if you will see and walk again."

The end.


End file.
